By Andrew R. Gottlieb

At the which means of Friendship among homosexual males takes readers past a standard exploration of homosexual sexuality and romantic relationships, into the area of spotting the significance of friendship to homosexual men. This book provides deep insights into various facets of friendship between homosexual men, including mentorship, spirituality, survival, and partnership. Leading gay authors offer a wide variety of views on the distinctive personality of those friendships in this intimate and extremely obtainable booklet.

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I haven’t seen Allen in almost twenty years. Still, typing this, I find my way back. N Allen is preparing Cornish game hens, the first I’ve had. But before they’re baked, the hens must dance. Allen’s whimsical humor so often pulls me from my depressions. One minute I’m lying in front of our gas fireplace brooding over my celibacy and the cursed and unerring accuracy with which I desire men who have no desire for me, and the next, at Allen’s suggestion, we are dangling the hens by their little wings and propelling them in a complex pas de deux across the kitchen table.

I had only recently come out, recently fallen into this, my first serious relationship with another man. And now I was meeting one of Brad’s dearest friends at his partner’s memorial. I felt strange—sidekick, interloper, the only one there who hadn’t known Norbert. To Ed, however, there was nothing awkward about this. He hugged me, accepting me as part of his circle of friends. Ed was my first gay friend. By that I mean to say something more complicated than that statement might first suggest. I do not mean that he was my first friend who was gay.

Too self-consciously butch, the token leatherbear, the bearded BDSM guy who makes the vanilla types nervous? I don’t want to talk about home appliances, the Tony Awards, Project Runway. I want to talk about mythology, country music, poetry, guitars, and pickup trucks. Ah, too late to change. This ole dawg needs no new tricks. I have John, I have family, I have my work, I have sufficient friends old and new. Still, I look backwards as often as I look forward, for the years behind begin to outnumber the years likely to come.

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