By Roxane Gay
Considered one of our such a lot fundamental writers . . . on every thing that issues
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Extra resources for Bad Feminist: Essays
In an ad for Cosmo in Billboard, December 1 5 , 1 984. 34 WOMEN HAVE CHANGED-WHY AREN T MEN . . presentcd by what the magazine actually features. First read the copy on the ad on the left . Then look for the articles on careers on the cover of the magazine on the right . What is happening? The woman is learning two ways to play hard-to-get: She can play sexually hard-to-get-the old-fashioned way . Or career hard-to-get--career is being used as the newest way to get a man to make a commitment .
This is indicated after the asterisk in the 1 984 ad . What Women Want: The Message the Man Hears 27 Engagement rings have a history of male-to-female giving . I assumed Ms . would feature other gifts women could give to men , such as wallets , colognes , books, jewelry , and calculators , especially in issues before Father's Day and Christmas. I checked the full-page ads of each issue from July 1 983 through January 1 985-nineteen months . Not one full-page ad for one gift a woman could give a man appeared in any Ms.
11 So why do people stay unhappily married? Take Ralph . His " family man " image is part of an executive package that gets him promoted to more external rewards . Nelson Rockefeller's divorce is often thought to have cost him the presidency. And John F. Kennedy is widely believed to have persuaded J acque line to remain married to him so it would not cost him the presidency. Generally, if the external rewards are significant , people discount the internal rewards of a happy marriage . Exter nal reward power is the most common " bribe " for both sexes to give the appearance of power.